Timeshare Scam Stories

CHAPTER 1

So there I was, innocently basking in the sun, relaxing, enjoying a well-earned rest from the winter cold and ice, minding my own business you know, when BAM, from totally out of the blue, up crept the Royal Holiday Time Share Rep and yep . . . I GOT CLUBBED!. I felt as helpless as a harpy seal pup would.

I knew it had to be have been too good to be true, I was havin´ such a great time . . . I should have listened to the whales I met around Nantucket on my way down . . . they'd been up and down this coast now for thousands of years and knew everythin´ that had been goin´ on. Yeh, these old-timers knew all the old tricks that haunt the Mexican beaches.

They'd warned me that it wouldn't be all sun, sand and surf . . and sure they were right. I shoulda listened . . but then I'm the bright guy, I'm the smart one . . . or at least I used to think I was . . . but I digress . . let me get back to the Royal Holiday guy and I'll tell you ALL about HOW I GOT CLUBBED in Cancun and how YOU can avoid this headache!

Ok, I admit it, I got schmoozed with the offer of the FREE tickets to visit Xcaret AND the FREE breakfast or lunch ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT offer at the 5 star hotel while all we had to do was to listen to a 30 minute presentation. Straight forward I thought - there's no way there going to make a sale and NO-ONE was going to bully me into one. I may be small but I am feisty! I won't let them make a sale I thought - but in reality I was sold all the way down the river - and it wasn't as clean as the Hudson.

So, ever vigilant I fought the first group of sales pitches off like flies while I consumed enough breakfast for two, thinking of course about how I should build up some fat reserves for the winter that awaited me once I had journied back home.

But after filling myself up and having visited the buffet bar several times I relaxed - there was no way these guys were going to make a sale today - not with me. And then a bell rang - I looked around to see if a ship was ´bout to dock but nope - not a sail in sight - then I realized that the kind of "sail" I was looking for was not the same as the one that had just sounded. For whom had that bell tolled ? Wasn't me, that's for sure!

CHAPTER 3

At least not yet ! Yep, the champagne was breaking footloose and fancy free - everyone was being invited to join in the celebration of the couple who had just entered the Royal Holiday Club - at the silver level too! Wow - how the money flows! But then my rep explained that I only had to make a little down payment offer - small fry compared to what was to come - but I took the bait and started to ask questions. It was then that the pro came out-of-the-blue and asked how things were going. "Swimmingly" I said - ok I was being sarcastic - but I knew he was the big fish in this pond I was goin´ to chew him up and spit him out!

Then he started "anglin´" for information: "where do we live", "how much do I make" etc etc. I thought - no way he was going to reel me in. Then he backed off and things calmed down - a bit. Just like that moment in "Jaws" when Roy Scheider (Chief Brody) is on the boat with Robert Shaw (Quint) where everythin´ is quite and the sea is calm, but in the background we hear the music build up to a rising crescendo and . . .! we get the first scary appearance of the shark as it come up out of the water and scares the bejeebers out of us - remember? Ok, so I said I was a young pup and I am! even though I saw the  first showing of "Jaws" in 1975 - but we're really only as old as we feel right ? However, I really am (was) as innocent as I claim at the start of this tale.

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